Falsity, on a Budget

Years ago, I befriended the owner of a small floral shop, named for the street corner it sprouted up on. I believe she part pitied, part envied my young, single life in a nearby basement apartment. When I visited, she would scrounge about the display cooler, and handpick a free “blown” bouquet for me (in florist’s-speak, that means flowers that have reached or surpassed their peak bloom, and are now on the downtick towards decay, but will look perfectly breathtaking for at least the next 12 hours). During those months, I had fresh clove-scented stems of carnations or the ubiquitous button chrysanthemum in every room of that apartment at all times. Okay, there were only three rooms, but still, it was resplendent luxury.

Times have changed, and for the time being, I’ve rationalized that there are a few advantages to faux ferns and fabric petaled sunflowers.

Hobby Lobby in Robinson Township is the newest pseudo craft superstore to hit this area in the past year. I say pseudo because the center of the humungous floor plan is jammed with tacky, varnished dressers and armoires and picture frames, something reminiscent of a Marshall’s, Supersized. The good news is, us serious crafters (or scrap bookers; a class totally separate from crafters, and don’t you forget it) can swoop to the left upon entry and tip-toe through wide, white, airy aisles of faux floral stems, kept obsessive-compulsively neat and sorted in a long system of white panels with equally spaced recesses from which the bunches stand at full attention. Realism is the overall theme here; you may even, occasionally, find a stem or leaf, purposely painted and manipulated to just barely mimic natural decomposition or “withering”.

Hobby Lobby even has a small section I would like to refer to, although it may be a little over exuberant, as the Enchanted Forest. Here you can route through brown wired branches, clutching them and comparing them as though you were about to kindle a bonfire of beauty. Tall faux tree branches, terminating in a wide array of fruit, flowers, catkins and cones are a bit rare; here, all seasons coexist.

The most notable disappointment at Hobby Lobby is their lack of support systems; and by that I mean foam, dried vine, or wire wreath forms. There is an endless, transparent line of glass vases along the back wall, but who doesn’t already have sixteen of those?